By Jackson Galaxy
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I feel him sigh and leave. Put him gently on the towel that’s already below him. Spend a minute or so in silence, a habit I fell into from that moment on. Not really mourning for me, more like respect, giving him the time to settle into his new reality. It helped and helps me to see this life and death as transitional. I’ve felt the energy of this life leave so many times now that I really can’t count. I’ve never once, though, taken it for granted, with my animals or the animals of others. That being said, I’m no monk; death sucks.
I had no problem with the idea of presenting my little companion in that light. I’m sure he did. But then again, he had a problem with just about everything. At the same time, Benny was witness to and participant in the most chaotic period of my life. I thought it important to talk about things that, quite honestly, I’ve kept exceedingly close to the vest. The thing is, I treasure beyond words the relationships I formed with animals in the past seventeen years. I find no drama in saying that without them, I would have long ago passed from this world.
Every day of my time with him I was either throwing up my hands, asking him for assistance, bouncing ideas off of other humans and other cats, just to get answers to bring back to him. He was aggressive to humans, felines, canines. He would decide to abandon litter box etiquette, seemingly on a whim. He would go on hunger strike. His body language and feline communicative skills were absolutely inscrutable. His shattered pelvis compromised him; his asthma was at times crippling; the still-mysterious ailments that took him finally brought me to my knees.